I’m sitting in a hotel on the beach only 5 minutes away from our house at the moment. I come here often but for some reason on this particular morning I was reminded of sitting similarly only I was on an island in Indonesia. Although its decided to rain like cats and dogs in LA for the last couple of weeks a beautiful beach is a beautiful beach. It’s gray. The palm trees are blowing in the wind. The ocean is crashing intensely.
I remember my Balinesian guide pulling up to a flock of people that were traveling with friends, families or lovers. I was alone and admittedly a pinch nervous about the journey. I chose to sit on the roof level to look fear square in the face, not to mention the blue skies and vast waters. My love affair with nature grabbed my fear by the throat as soon as the boat started bouncing across the waves and water splashed my face. I was on a lone adventure and life was good. As I am sitting here writing to you now, we both know I survived.
On my way back to Bali I found myself sitting outside feeling the warm winds tickle the back of my neck. I was sitting as I am now, writing a blog and I clearly remember thinking, “this is what I want.” I remember somehow finding comfort in the fact that I had a beautiful home and community back here in Venice waiting for me. I knew that my wild spirit craved exploration. My curiosity and deep desire for connection pulls me to cultures in different parts of the world. In every place I’ve traveled I’ve found parts of myself in the native ways. I’ve found that seeking these magical journeys alone heightens my awareness. I loved meeting people along the way but there is something about seeing things you’ve never seen before and no one being there when you turn to the left or right to say, “Wow… look at that!” It forces you to feel your experiences. For me sometimes words take away from resonance. There are times in life when I feel the magic of life events deflating or slipping away the more I speak of them in the moment. Sometimes it takes silence for me to both hear and feel. This is probably what brings me to story telling. Taking it all in, sitting with it and then articulating the intricacies from a perspective of resonance.
As you may know traveling and life for me will never be the same. It was a mere 2 months ago that my beautiful little angel Sky was born. Needless to say she is the new queen of our household and certainly the center of our worlds. She is on a mission of her own and being a wife and a mother is redefining the purpose of my existence. I’ve spent most of my life looking after people so much that I’ve been called Mama T for years. I have vivid memories as a little girl, dreaming of being a mommy, holding my little tiny baby in my arms and being rescued by my prince (because thats what little girls like me thought good men were). I’ve never lost touch with this dream but I must admit I’ve quite enjoyed being a wild child. My free spirit would literally roar with day to day gratitude, vibrance and happiness. I’d celebrate life every moment. I’d get high on sunshine and sand. As the world turns I now celebrate my partner and our little tiny baby every second. For now I get high on the smell of Sky’s forehead and the scent of our family den.
It is taking me a little time to adjust to the beautiful changes and challenges. With that said I am thankful that I practice what I preach in acknowledging where I am in the now and whats to come. Speaking of whats to come; my man Paul and I are discussing our wanderlusting spirits and seriously considering answering the call to explore while we can. The question rings, “Do we stay or do we go?” Building a community of amazing friends takes a lot of precious time. In the same breath finding a place you love to live is often born out of exploring. There is power in closing a door as new ones always present themselves. There is also power in falling in love with exactly whats in front of you. It could be lovely to leave our beautiful life we’ve built peacefully versus leaving because we feel spiritually sedentary in our day to day movements. I would much rather see us pack our lives up, put Sky baby in a little bundle on my chest and hit the road just because we can versus feeling like we have to. My process of decision making is asking myself the tough (love) questions. So if you’re getting a little nudge or a burning desire for a change of location here a few things to ponder.
photo via pinterest
- If I could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?
- What do I love most about where I live now?
- Why did I come here in the first place?
- Who and or what do I feel I would be leaving behind?
- What feelings come up when I think of leaving here?
- Why am I considering moving or leaving for an extended stay?
- What type of place do I or would I enjoy living in? i.e. city, country, artistic, beach lifestyle
- Have I been to this place or a place like it? Did I think to myself, “I would love to live here!”?
- When I’ve enjoyed travels do I still feel excited to get back to my home life or wish I could stay?
- What are my biggest fears in moving/traveling if any at all?
There are a thousand and one questions you could ask yourself. The hope is that these will get your mind flowing and allow you to really explore your why and maybe even push you to ultimately change your life as you know it. Make yourself a tasty drink, curl up with your journal and let the dreaming (or planning) begin. After exploring these thoughts alone share them with your partner, a friend and or family. See how it feels to say it out loud. If we do decide to hit the road, you know you’ll hear all about it! Chat soon darling.